Beowulf

Hubby and I saw Beowulf this weekend. Uh, not so much.

grendel.jpg

It probably would’ve been better in 3D, but even that wouldn’t change the most basic flaw: none of the characters is worth caring about. (Except maybe Grendel. I ended up feeling sorry for him.) The movie may not be as tedius as the original poem, but it’s a bit tedius nonetheless.

Some beefs:

  • Angelina Jolie was in the movie ten minutes, and gets top billing. I love Angie, but harrumph. Sexploitation, anyone?
  • None of the backstory was told. The relationships between the characters was assumed, but never explained. For example, the Queen? Where’d she come from? She went from disdaining Hrothgar to disdaining Beowulf, with very little explanation given for either. Why would she cut Hrothgar off for sleeping with Grendel’s momma, but not with any of the other wenches lying about the halls? Same re: Beowulf.
  • The whole “Who’s your Daddy?” thing annoyed me.
  • For an epic poem laced with history, very little history was explored. And too much poetic liscence was taken. Stick to the story when you’re adapting classic lit, folks. Grendel’s mom died, gang. Lots of us already knew this.
  • The rise of Christianity was mentioned, as an aside in several scenes, but in no way explored.
  • The special effects were more creepy than cool. Robin Wright Penn was unrecognizable. And Anthony Hopkin’s ass, even cartoon ass, is best left under the toga, feel me?

Some good points:

  • The dragon ROCKED!
  • Wiglaf was cool. Liked him the best.

All in all, wait for Netflix.

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3 responses to “Beowulf

  1. Haven’t seen the movie (and probably won’t given all the bad reviews) but I have read the Seamus Heaney translation, which was not tedious at all – it was really good. Anyone who reads Tolkien will recognize how much material he adapted (or outright stole) from Beowulf.

  2. I hadn’t even heard the movie was being made. (I guess I live in a hole…)

    I have to comment off topic though. If you write a post entitled, “I gotta tell you”, and then DELETE it before I can read it, that’s just wrong. 🙂

  3. How did you even know? Do deleted posts still show up somehow? Weird.

    It hasn’t gone away, I’m just working on it. Politics usually makes me pretty angry, and I can be impulsive with what I write, so sometimes I have to cool off first.

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