“True” Friendship: None of that Sissy Crap
1. When you are sad — I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against The sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile — I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared — I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused — I will use little words.
7. When you are sick — Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have.
8. When you fall — I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath…. I pledge it to the end. “Why?” you may ask; “because you are my friend”.
Friendship is like peeing your pants…everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
(Sent to me via email by the right-wing biotch known as my best friend.)